I'm 16 having problems with my parents relating to dating guys. Need advice from Teens and Adults Alike! Plz!?

I'm a 16 year old i guess pretty much trying to date this 17 year old guy who is about to turn 18. To make a long story short. I have a guy that i REALLY like and he likes me to and we want to be together. Basically the only problems with this is one he lives about an 1hr to 2 hrs away from me so we do have distance issues but the biggest issue of all is my parents. My parents are basically not together and its tough talking to them, but i have a greater relationship with my dad (who is overseas right now) than my mother (who i am living with right now). My mom hates the idea of me dating, like its really bad to the point she dont like to see me hugging guys or a dude will come and try to talk to me just to get my name at random or even if it is me talking to a guy.She even sometimes listen to my phone conversations whenver i'm talking to a guy (reason for my dad buying me a cell phone anyways) Its terrible. I have not dating anyone sense and this was SUPPOSE to be the year i could start dating but obviously not. Anyway, my dad doesn't have a problem with me dating but my mom does. My dad knows that i like this guy that i want to be with but he's not here to help me convince my mom that i can start dating or going out with a guy, and on top of that they pretty much can't stand each other so their is no talking to each other and i live with my mom instead of my dad. So basically i'm stuck and i dont really want to sneak around but i'm really tempted to even though i've never did it before (i'm one of the good kids that get a bad conscience(sp?) if i do something bad or behind my parents back believe it or not)





SO the question that i have is...how can i talk to both my mom about letting me date guys in general because i don't want to hide it from her and if any advice, and also if anybody can give me advice on how to deal with long distance relationships if possible.








oh yea to add on i have approached my mother a couple times about dating and the only response i basically get from her is ';i'm not ready for you to date just yet'; but i'm mean i'm almost graduating from high school in one year and its a definite i'm going to start regardless after i graduate. Just an add-on. I have tried to talk to her.





I'm 16 having problems with my parents relating to dating guys. Need advice from Teens and Adults Alike! Plz!?
As a parent, i must say, the worst example a parent can set is to take back their word, for the simple reason that they do not have that right, nor can they expect their children to trust them, or not follow that lead, when they don't wish to do things.


If she had no intention of keeping her word, then she should never have given it, she should have given you the old, ';we'll see';, we'll deal with that when the time comes';, anything but make a liar out of herself.


Catch your mother when she has time. Ask her what ';she'; needs to be ready for, tell her she's been aware this was coming for 16 yrs, she has had all that time in the world to ';get ready';, it's not as though she didn't know the route you'd be taking.


Ask her if she trusts you, if you don't follow the rules and curfews, tell her you could have snuck around behind her back, but would prefer to be open and honest with her. That you would never do anything to let her down, intentionally. I mean, do it nicely, but get through to her that ';she'; is the adult setting the example. And when you become of age, may you give her your word, then take it back because you don't feel like keeping it, ask if that might bother her, after all she is setting the example of how an adult acts.


I my dear, am a mother and there is nothing to get ready for, you are quite ready to date, she really doesn't have a great deal to worry about, sure a mother will always worry, but it is really too bad, she hasn't read the bit you wrote about not sneaking around.


It is really above and beyond me, why parents can't see their kids for what they are. If they can't trust, have issues or accept their kids dating, then they obviously have no faith in their parenting skills.


From what i pick up, you sound like your mature enough to start dating. Tell her she has to learn to let go sometime, why not start now.


I'm 16 having problems with my parents relating to dating guys. Need advice from Teens and Adults Alike! Plz!?
I had the same problem your father is being nice cause thats how they are. Your mother is saying that probably she fears you might get pragerz,raped, whatever that's in the sex topic.Your mom and yu should sit down and talk then approach her on this not aggressive but calmly but then ask her about when she started dating and explain to her about how things changed when she was younger and tell her your 16 or 17 and say i know whats right and wrong i can make own decsions. Long distance relationships never ever ever work date another guy it gets too messy
I am a mom but my daughter is now 25, I am glad to here you did not sneak. Keep a healthy relationship with your mom as well believe me later on you will need and want her in your life.





Is it possible you can be friends with this guy and talk and text one another since you will be graduating soon-start there with mom?





Write what you feel in a letter to your mom this way she has to read it first without giving you an immediate answer-talk about your responsibilities as a young adult, protecting yourself, demanding a guy respect you-if don't plan on having sex say that!





We moms want to know that our daughters are safe and smart when it comes to guys.





What is the guys intentions-what does he want from you-everyone has an agenda?


THINK BEFORE YOU LEAP!
I have parents like that. I'm sure for them it's really hard to see you grow up and they know that once you start doing these ';adult'; things then they feel like their loosing their little girl. As well there is always the ';pregnancy'; issue, and for girls it's always hard to date at such a young age because no parents wants their daughter getting pregnant at 16. But this is what I always tell my mom. She has to face that I'm growing up and I need a little more freedom I'm not asking to move out of the house just yet, I don't drink, I don't smoke, school is very important to me, over all a good kid. So in a way I think that if you think your responsible enough to make wise decision while your dating then she shouldn't have a problem. But then again you could have very strict parents. So just make sure to tell them how responsible you are, and that you know your rights from wrongs. Tell them you will not make stupid mistakes. And overall let them know that you wanted to know that they were OK with you dating, and tell them you thought that it was wrong if you hid it from them so you should be given the right to date. Try not to stress about it if they don't let you, just remember your going to be a parent one day and you will understand them then, when your kids are asking you for permission to date.